Love is what i got.

I’ve learned that fire anywhere in the world provides heat. When we are cold we put our hands to the fire and we are warmed. We can say the same about love.  With absolute humility I am learning that the source of every religion is love.    Feeling so grateful to live in a country that values freedom of religion.  It’s the same as valuing love.



Little Bit

Had to send husband for tampons and coffee.  Boom Boom boom boom, woke reaching for ibuprofen and tylenol. Woke freaked from this nightmare.  Asked him, Is you is or is you aint my baby? My dog has flees?  What?   Hungover.  Yup, little bit.  Did take the dog for a walk through the woods yesterday.  Noticed this tree that an animal is shitting all over.  Before that it was all good with the dog.  But he would not go near that tree, he’s a total and complete puppy coward. But then I was thinking in my dream…. that’s cat scat.  Bet we have a cougar…  Totally serious.  Woke still looped. Where’s my coffee?      ooooo never read the paper before coffee….  there fell the other boot.

Cheer up.

It’s fun watching watching the wrath of GOP in its final death pitch before the election. Perfect Timing. The universe does have a sense of humor.



Hook line and sinker.  Here is the man with that powerfully beautiful smile.  The happy and positive energy brought to us in those words has been absolutely contagious.  My ten year old howled…. AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU… at the top of his lungs out the car window.


We are having  this long thing.  What bohemian means.  What eccentric means. What attorney means.  What rhapsody means. What happens when they meet. Hippies and Attorneys have mostly been historical enemies.

My daughter has forgotten and I am here to remind her.  The local school district had prepared for an Obama victory. There was a plan in place for the appropriate response on election day in her classroom.  My husband was shocked because on that day he took his daugher to the polls to witness his vote for Obama before he dropped her at at school. On that day,  despite all professional rules of conduct, her teacher stepped off the edge and offered her opinion as fact, when she said to all of her students that Obama was a muslim and a liar who could not be trusted and who was elected only because he was black.  (Her teacher who was not fired was later moved around the district  from teaching the second grade to teaching math at the local middle school.  My family received hate mail from the district for months after… )

My OPED letter was published in the New York Times, on election day, moderated by  UC Berkeley Professor of Public Education….   something like that…   the hate was waiting for him the day he arrived.  We are still facing the hate challenges in our local school district (they still hate us and always will) and I HOPE that this year, my daughter will experience an educated victory for what it is.



About Last Night


Poverty IS the true enemy, not just financial poverty.  Things are so complicated now that some of the most powerful challenges we face are due to suffering the poverty of ignorance. Many of the challenges we face cannot be fixed with money. The worlds challenges I believe, can and will be solved with love, compassion and unity.

Sounds Great Tonight

Some people warm up with Beethoven. Very seriously, his Mother’s name was Dorothy and he played this for her at her funeral. It made the Christians a bit uncomfortable. He has a thing about it. She told him a fantastic story about the piece when he was little.  Dancing fairies and magical sprites in one part of the forest. Goblins ghosts and gouls dancing in another part of the forest.  They meet and there is a fierce storm and all the little creatures fly home as fast as the wind would carry them.  As they reach their fairy doorsteps, the weather is calmed again.

When he was little she painted his portrait while he was reading the music and holding his violin.  She included fairies and sprites swirling around his precious little head. She was a pianist, a painter and loved to write children’s stories. That’s how she taught him to memorize it. She captured his imagination.


More Sleep Issues

Right before sunrise pitch black so I couldn’t see it. Right outside my window. My closed window.  Still it was so loud it blasted me from a deep sleep.  Spent a long time sorting through owl calls on youtube.  Looked at owl maps for Washington State.  5 hours later and I’m going with Great Horned Owl.  Just one.  Sometimes there are Barred Owls and awful sounding wars when they meet the Great Horned Owls.  Not this morning.  Just the one but like the other times, when I get up and turn on the lights, they leave.

I’ve seen Great Horned Owls in the yard by day and early morning pre dawn.  So I’m sure of it. They are magnificent.  Once I woke to make a pot of coffee and while I was staring out the window, saw one sitting in a tree branch staring at me.  Casually poured the grounds into the grinder, looked directly at it and hit the button like a chainsaw and it didn’t flinch.  It did leave, not because I scared it off, but because I scared off it’s prey…  That owl was like, I aint scared of your coffee grinder, bitch, I’m here for your cats.

I’m so tired.  So tired, it’s painfully debilitating.

Went out to look for owl pellets, nada.  Found what I think is bear scat at least I hope. And those completely toxic amarilissomething poisonous mushrooms and fungal looking brains. The only reason I went out looking is because my husband was running his chainsaw.  We don’t have raccoons here, because of our dogs. These photos were taken in the back forty, beyond the perimeter of my dog’s wifi fence.  No hair in the scat so it appears to be vegetarian, it’s just a guess. Different from other bear scat spotted in the yard.  That was a 350 pound male black bear. That was in the spring, here we are in the fall, still lots of berries, so I dunno. This animal has much smaller scat, hoping it’s not a bear cub. Guessing this animal is half the size of the other bear. If it was a cougar or a coyote there would be lots of obvious hair in the scat? Trying to make myself feel better. Actually I would prefer to take my chances with a black or brown bear vs coyotes or cougars any day of the year. As I was educated from Officer Capelli, what a nice person, very calm,  from the Dept of Wildlife, they take a while to hibernate, it’s a long process.  Not going to bother him with it this year, the scat was several acres from the house.  Whatever it is, it is staying away or trying to. The chainsaw must have sent it or them, running.







Sleep Issues

She did it again. Jumped right up on my pillow while I was sleeping and woke me up.  She kissed my eyelashes, my lips and cuddled right up to my face I think so she can feel my breath on her.  She’s tiny, the runt of the litter.  What is this going to be like?  A house bunny?

It’s like back in the days with an infant.  Had to baby proof the floor. Have to be so careful not to step on her or trip over her because she follows me everywhere. Tried a crate earlier in the night and that did not work out. So I set up her little nest in the bathroom and closed the door. That worked for about an hour and she was scratching  the door to get out.

She does all of this without a sound. She doesn’t talk yet she’s so bossy.  My daughter promised that today she would set her up with her own little bunny hutch to sleep in at night.  Don’t mind baby sitting her during the day.  She’s totally litter box trained so I don’t really mind. Still, she’s nocturnal, sassy and very adventurous.

The wind began to switch, the house to pitch

and suddenly the wicked witch began to come unhitched… just then awake, to satisfy an itch, the waking bitch sent that witch flying off her broomstick in the middle of a ditch. And OH what happened then was rich. The house began to pitch and kitchen took a slitch, it landed on the wicked witch in the middle of the ditch, which, was not a happy situation for the wicked witch.

Four am and the little baby bunny jumped into bed with me and tickled my nose, kissed my eye lashes.  The wind is loud and frightens me she said.  Couldn’t fall back asleep, got up made coffee, lit a fire in the woodstove and now it’s time to smoke two joints. And consider what I’m going to do about the bunny, she’s on my pillows looking at me like when are you coming back to bed? I don’t even know what to say.  Or what I’m going to do about it. It never occured to me that at some point in my life a baby bunny would wake me by kissing my face. Going to have to crate train her at night, don’t know what else to do. It would be horrible if I squished her in my sleep. Gave her a little sheepskin bed cover in case she was cold. She jumped away from it and fell asleep on my polar fleece hat.  Huh.




Surviving The Dust Bowl

Bennett gained the support of Congress with the help of a providentially timed storm from the plains that hit Washington, D.C. in May 1934, while he was testifying before a congressional committee. Experiencing a debilitating dust storm for the first time in the Capital, Congress put its weight behind the Soil Conservation Act of 1935, which focused on improving farming techniques.

The group gathered at a window. The dust storm for which Hugh Bennett had been waiting rolled in like a vast steel-town pall, thick and repulsive. The skies took on a copper color. The sun went into hiding. The air became heavy with grit. Government’s most spectacular showman had laid the stage well. All day, step by step, he had built his drama, paced it slowly, risked possible failure with his interminable reports, while he prayed for Nature to hurry up a proper denouement. For once, Nature cooperated generously.


lincoln memorial may 1934

(Meanwhile in Stalin’s Russia and Mao’s China, 1933, It is generally accepted that at least six million people fell victim to this artificially created famine.)


The Grapes of Wrath

“I want to put a tag of shame on the greedy bastards who are responsible for this [the Great Depression and its effects].” He famously said, “I’ve done my damndest to rip a reader’s nerves to rags.” John Steinbeck

My main problem is that I was too young to do anything about it when I read The Grapes of Wrath, at about 8 years old.  It’s like my life subconsciously reinforced the experience of that masterpiece.  My first paycheck at 13, was from Jaques Seed to hand detassle corn for $3.35 an hour.  We met the school buses early and went to a field and walked back and forth all day, all summer.  It was cold in the morning, the dew on the corn stalks ripped my skin like paper cuts. We didn’t have bottled water back then, there were water stations, but we couldn’t use them until they said so. That meant detassling several rows for a glass of water. The rows were long as I remember them, hours long. It was hot and humid by noon and it seemed like I was always hungry tired and thirsty.

Fast forward to 2000 and I found myself working as the personal assistant to Betsy Sestrap of Wax Orchards.  Her parents planted the first fruit trees here on Vashon in 1920. The period of the great depression was October 29, 1929 – 1939.   Wax Orchards operated on Vashon Island from 1920 to 2008.  Betsy had a reputation for being a cantankerous crotchety battle ax. The company said I broke the all time record for being able to work beside her without running away screaming and pulling my hair out.  She must have liked me more than the others. Probably because she could tell my family were farmers.

By 2001 they sold most of their land and no longer hired or housed seasonal migrant workers.  During the depression families came west from everywhere to pick cherries at the orchard. 5 cents a bucket.  If they complained, 3 cents. It they complained again, they were tossed and another family was eager to pick those cherries for 3 cents a bucket.  She was like a God choosing which families would live or die.

Cherrywood Station still stands on Wax Orchards road, across the street from the Sestrap’s old farm house.  Talk about selling the soul to the company store.  The berry pickers were given ticket rations for payment.  The only place they could spend them was Cherrywood Station, the Sestrap Grocery for the pickers.  There were housing barracks set up in the woods behind the little grocery, all items 5 times as expensive as in Seattle or Tacoma.  Often families lived on credit from the store and turned in their picking tickets on pay day. Essentially making them indentured servants.

(need to take a break or i will most certainly vomit. because i was sitting next to betsy during the nisqually quake 2001.  i was afraid that if i died with her i was certainly going straight to hell. robert spent a fortune on a recent earthquake retrofit. betsy and i were in the basement. when it started we looked up and then at eachother and i said, yup, time to go betsy.  we held eachother because it was difficult to walk, the earth was rolling like the ocean but we made it outside. the men were all out in the fields and i had to go back to the house for robert.  he was barefoot in his wheelchair, back from the hospital for bladder cancer treatment just the day before. he was sat in front of the sliding glass door, which i opened.  we looked up and the chandelier was crashing back and forth against the ceiling like a pendulum and the chimney was collapsing.  for several minutes as i was standing on the deck, it swung left while the house swung right and back and forth and although the sliding glass doors were flexing, they didn’t break.  told him that betsy was out of the house safely, couldn’t find jim, then asked if he wanted to try and make it out.  he looked up again at the chandelier and said no, he said she’ll make it, he trusted the retrofit. go now, get off the deck he said.  he was correct, btw, the chimney was the only thing that fell apart.  )

I like this song, but I like ghosts better as it reminds me of the wax orchards processing plant.  Haunted as fuck.  Betsy’s mom, Johanna for certain.  Let’s just say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  Everyone who worked in plant knew it. Giant doors would slam out of nowhere when she wanted workers to know she was watching and didn’t like what she saw. It only happened to me once, while alone labeling jars of chocolate.  Wearing headphones, I think that’s what pissed her off. Those warehouse doors are big enough to bring in a semi and they are heavy.  The door slammed, I looked up and in the rafters… there appeared smoke or vapor with an image in it that reminded me of a very dark kathe kollwitz drawing. Johanna was a woman who sent her 4 year old daughter out on the back of a tractor loaded with arsenic to spread over the fields with her bare hands.









Hemingway & Hazel 1954


First of all Che’s D-day was October 8th.  When I saw the radar photo of Hurricane Mather over Haiti?  My mind spun in three directions.  The face of it looked like a stitched up voodoo doll.

Had to explore 1954.  Hurricane Hazel struck Haiti after Haiti had been celebrating their 150 year independence from France.

Hemingway won the Nobel Prize in Literature & Batista won the general election in Cuba.

a look at the charts…  notice that both 1954 and 2016 share days with rising sag and moon in sag… then rising in sag, moon in cap. coincidence. chose to study Virginia because that’s where they seemed to land.


(Hurricane Hazel) Oct 3, 1954

What sag rising and sag moon look like.


19542457666673507oct5 sag rising moon in cap

(Hurricane Matthew )Oct 5, 2016  what sag rising and sag moon look like.


(Hurricane Matthew) 2016 Oct 8 sag rising moon in cap2457666808385



That’s a wrap.

Have been working on this wrap design which makes it sound clever.  Really it’s a scarf with the ends sewn together.  Twist it and pull it over the head and voila both a hat and neck sweater.

The problem with scarves is that move around all the time and the reason I started playing with this idea is because I need something for the boat that doesn’t move around. If it’s raining, it can be pulled over the head and I pull my foul weather hood over it.  If it’s not raining, it’s like a double warm snuggly scarf.

This wrap is fancy because it’s for a friend who doesn’t sail. Added her favorite colors so that it goes with all her winter warmies.  My family has been watching me and last night my son asked me to teach him and I thought great, let’s do this.

We both woke with Asthma symptoms.  As soon as I woke I had to use my inhaler.  When my son woke we talked about making hats and he said I can’t, it gave me asthma, it’s the wool.  I said the word Fascinating and he rolled his eyes.  I was like no I’m serious, I had to use my inhaler this morning.  Feels like my throat is fuzzy and his grew as wide as the world. YEAH MOM, yeah.

Was able to find the culprit, it’s just this one color that I was working with only last night.  Pulling it all out. Note to self: Hand wash the wrap and it will have to go in the dryer to be safe.  Hope it survives.  I don’t know where this color came from, maybe my friends attic or granny’s.  Either way, packing it all up for the dump, it’s all been sitting together in the same knitting bag.  Bottom line, No More Wool.  Maybe I’ll try again with polar fleece.


This Yogi is Discussing Mental Health in The Most Stunning Way


It’s easy to get lost in the beauty of Heidi Williams’ yoga-inspired Instagram account ― but the images are also spreading an important message about mental health.

Williams started practicing yoga after she was diagnosed with a constellation of mental health disorders that she believes stem from an incident in 2013 in which her infant son, Silas stopped breathing and had to be revived.

“He basically died and came back to life,” Williams told The Huffington Post.

Though her son returned to perfect health, Williams had difficulty letting go of what happened. She would get triggered every time her son would whine or cry and even had multiple episodes of self-harm, she said.

After months of struggling, Williams sought help from her doctor, who diagnosed her with major depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. In addition to going to therapy, Williams decided to make a lifestyle change and pick up a hobby. That’s when she found yoga.

“It was the very first time in 18 months that I was like, ‘Oh my god, I exist,’” she said of her first class. “I’m under all of this horrible. I thought I had lost myself.”


Inspiring Documentary: Alex Rust

The official full length movie about Alex Rust a charismatic 25 yr old kid from Indiana who trades the life of a young stock trader for that of derelict sailboat captain.
With no previous experience, he and his bearded pals dare to circumnavigate the globe in desperate pursuit of a meaningful life.
Watch their adventures aboard their 39 foot sailboat fondly named: “Bubbles.”





Don’t Hate me because I’m Beautiful.

Getting several emails per minute as my wordpress site faces down brute force hack attacks…

Serbia, Romania, Columbia, Mumbia India, Spain, Austria, muuuuaaaahhahhhahhahhahaaa…. I love it.

Czech Republic, Pakistan, Columbia, Algeria, Ukraine,Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Looks like it started at 6:43 am, with 3 per minute, it’s a bit faster now.

Kriva Palanka, Macedonia,Courbevoie, France,Caracas, Venezuela,Bayamón, Puerto Rico,Rhodes, Australia,Pyrgos, Greece,Moscow, Russia, hundreds more…

Baku, Azerbaijan,Pune, India, Calama, Chile,Srinagar, India, Tijuana, Mexico,Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, Muscat, Oman,Mississauga, Canada, Portugal, Bengaluru, India,Brijest, Croatia, Hadera, Israel,Trinidad and Tobago. Totalling 1,670 log in attempts.

aha, stopped the traffic at 3:36pm! thank you tech support. wordpress is still a little non profit, so… let me get this right.  computer generated log in hacker programs  can figure out passwords automatically but can’t do math?  that doesn’t seem real to me.


Live Through This

What a way to start the day. *note to self. Place emergency inhaler next to pc when reading the news.  Scrambling for my copy of The Beauty Myth and emergency only benzodiazepine.  At first it was like ok, provoking people may get them off their asses. Now it’s like ok, so that’s what’s wrong with America today,   Donald Trump.



Haven’t watched a beauty contest since I was like, 10. Isn’t it something when bald fat white men way past attractive judge young women who participate in beauty contests?  It’s like a grown man playing with dolls, but they aren’t toys. So disturbing on so many complicated levels. Who even watches beauty contests anymore?

You know what I think would be the most entertaining beauty pageant?  A drag show. Just lip syncing, costumes, make up and attitude catwalk. That would be delicious.  MS World.




Into The Black



He spoils me. Picked up a guitar and played out of the blue and transitioned into helpless, wasn’t even aware he did it.   Awesome, love the way he thinks.

*special guest in Seattle 2012… rocked Very hard.

Wonder if he would like these guys, don’t have a clue on the lyrics but it makes me smile… every time I listen to it.


Two Months Early…

I’ve never heard of this kind of Black Friday before.


Heard strange noises. Went outside to see the sky.   A hundred mourning doves were in the trees outside my bedroom window. The sound I heard was all of them landing in the trees. Pet the porch cat and softly said, Hello Kitty, while I was staring in amazement at the birds.  When they heard my voice they took flight, so many, what a visit.


(As a total aside, True story is that Stevie Nicks was listening to Little Red Corvette on the radio whilst she wrote Stand Back. She went 50/50 royalties with Prince because he played most of the music while they recorded it in the studio. They didn’t even sign a contract.)


Wow there is a story about them! They are a symbol of Peace and Love. Yeah. Well I suppose it did feel calm and magical and peaceful, although at first it was shocking.

Lincoln Totem Poles-Several

The Indians of the Canadian Northwest were especially energetic slavers. An estimated one quarter of the resident population among Pacific Northwest tribes were slaves; a proportion similar to the US South before the Civil War. When being taken over by the U.S. After the Alaska purchase meant freedom for their slaves, the Tlingit of Alaska crafted a totem pole with the figure of Abraham Lincoln at the top, to shame the government and demand compensation.






No Haitian revolution?  No Louisiana Purchase.  No Louisana Purchase? No Alaska Purchase. 

The New Laws (Spanish: Leyes Nuevas), also known as the New Laws of the Indies for the Good Treatment and Preservation of the Indians, were issued on November 20, 1542, by King Charles V of Spain and regard the Spanish colonization of the Americas. They were created to prevent the exploitation of the indigenous peoples of the Americas by the encomenderos (large enterprise landowners) by strictly limiting their power and dominion. Slavery of Black Africans was not abolished.  source: Wikipedia

the decree of Isabella I. of 1503, which stated, that no Indigenous may be put to slavery, except cannibals

Family Meeting, Viking Style

The new pet bunny is more than adorable. When the kids brought home the rats, I was cringing every few minutes until I made friends. The kids said, have to hold them every day or they go crazy, see ya later mom! Thought it would just be a phase but it has become a great thing.   (A thing- Old Norse, Old English and Icelandic: þing; Norwegian, Danish and Swedish: ting; German and Dutch: ding) At the thing, disputes are solved and family decisions are made.  

 Turns out rats are fun pets. They like to be clean and are very gentle little creatures by nature. They have been teaching the kids compassion, empathy and responsibility while I have developed tolerance. Now I have no problem letting them crawl in my clothes, hide in my hair, crawl up to my face, pull my lips back and taste my tongue. Gross huh? Well that’s how they check in with their people. They won’t go to the bathroom on us; they are actually very self-conscious about personal hygiene. They do have sight issues, blurry vision or they see in UV.

 Because the kids are awesome, so are the pets. They have a knack in taming them. Our rats are very friendly and miss us if we are away too long. Sometimes when I walk by they jump and cling to the walls of their cages and beg for attention and treats. All of the kids have clean rat cages that they tricked out like condos with hanging beds, nice views and toys and when possible, they love to sleep in boxes of fresh wheat grass from the produce section.

 What is so fun about the baby bunny is house training! It only took one or two days and it’s hysterical! Easy because the baby bunny is smart. Same level of personality as a cat, but it’s different, body language only. Very sassy body language, still, training the bunny was easier than my service dog. Bunnies are very energy sensitive. She’s the one training me. This one likes timothy hay and the parakeets bird seed. She’s happy and when she likes people she kisses them like a puppy. In love, happiest pet ever. It was sweet to have a puppy follow me around the house, but a baby bunny?  Now that’s funny. Guess we can say we have a thing about it.

Rocket test firings begin at JBLM, as tribe worries about noise

Army officials said they would stop the testing at Joint Base Lewis-McChord if any monitors register 130 decibels, a level that can cause harm to humans.

Source: Rocket test firings begin at JBLM, as tribe worries about noise


Yup, makes the house shake. Few weeks back had to call Century Link because just my wifi and stereo cut out, not all the power to the house.  They had to reset my router, remotely.