Sweet Home Chicago

They called last night from a hotel in Iowa near the Illinois border.  Settled in early for showers and a full nights sleep.   Can’t believe how excited and happy they all sounded. Per left by train last week and is home safe and sound.  They will see him later today and are staying at his place.  Aunt Gail’s service is tomorrow.

As for me I am mastering the meds.  Taking 10 mg of Celexa every 12 hours to get up 20mg at once, once a day.  I’m sleeping through it. It’s been several days in a row and I will have this down before they return home.  The anti depressants are kind of a background thing.  I know they are working because my brain is creating happier colored wall paper.





Family left last night without me.  First it was Jon and Cedar and at the last minute little man said me too.  Gave each of them some pocket money and Jonny tried to give it back.  Said keep it, you’re going to Chicago.  Oh they were so excited. Called my mom and she asked why I didn’t go. New meds, haven’t adjusted.

Our Little Talks


My daughter and I just wrapped this up in less than 5 minutes.  We were caught off guard by this hidden racial profiling.  If we say anything one way or the other, it’s racial judgment based on what we have been socially conditioned to believe is ok by that construct.  So what if a human being identifies with another culture, religion, gender or sexual orientation? My daughter tilted her head to side and smiled and said, interesting societal insight.


Road Trip

Maybe, maybe not.  Aunt Gail’s funeral is in Chicago.  That last road trip nearly killed me.   I dunno man, thinking about it.  My heart’s spaghetti junction…

Road Trips with Jon are hard core.  It’s all the sailing I think.  Well yeah actually, a nice 20 hour road trip is the same as a race in tactics. First of all he doesn’t like to sleep.  Good Lord like that time in Montana.  The road trip he slept.  He wouldn’t let me pull over to a hotel.  So I waited until he fell fast asleep and I pulled over.  Picked a bad place.  It was a park and I did read the sign that said:  DANGER, Don’t Walk On The Grass- RATTLE SNAKES.  And I pulled a sleeping bag and slept under a tree, on the grass.  We both woke screaming when the sprinklers came on.  He was really angry, his window was open and he got a shower. I was screaming because it sounded just like a snake. Chick Chick Chick then shaking like a rattle.

Or that time in the desert at the Grand Canyon.  Woke him with my screaming because a little scorpion pinned me in the shower.  Ran him over running naked out of the bathroom.  He killed it for me.

Or that other time I had a bad dream and acted like a nutcase for 500 miles until I said This Is It, just like the dream.  I was walking in a circle freaking out. WE HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT FUCKING NOW.  He asked Why? I said, TORNADO. 20 minutes later, a tornado destroyed that town.   It was late summer and a bunch of Harleys were with us outside of Sturgis riding like bats from hell.  Suddenly very windy, one nearly side swiped us going 100.  The bikes were just laying down sideways like meadow grass on the highway.  One went right off the road with a passenger on the back and they made it without dumping.

Or the time I slept on the floor because there was only one bed in the room.  Woke him up by grabbing his foot in the middle of the worst asthma attack in my life.  He had to run out and tear apart the packed car for my inhaler.

Or that last trip when we lost a tire in Ritzville coming home.  I was also dealing with kidney stones that I stupidly ignored.  I had believed we would make it to Seattle.  But that night was both a blessing and a nightmare.  If the tire hadn’t blown we would not have stopped.  In fact it worked out great because the service station was across the street from the ER.  Walked in wearing one shoe and I thought I was carrying the other, but it was my camera.  The poor nurses. They were very upset, had to wake the doctor. They were making me drink cranberry juice while sedating me and sticking me with a needle for an IV.  My blood pressure had skyrocketed like never before and she said I wouldn’t have made it.  She hadn’t seen anything like it since Mount Saint Helens.  What a mess.

Then Jon showed up and the car was ready.  Then the nurses were like, right, you had better get going, there’s a storm coming.  Jon and I looked at each other and nodded, we had been running from it since Illinois. We stopped and scanned the mountains and this tourist said, nah, it won’t clear the mountains.  There we were in the pass and now I was screaming for him to drop his speed to 20.  So he did. We rounded the corner and it was like a movie.  It was mid summer but it was snowing with lightning.  The road turned to ice with two inches of snow and cars were spinning off the road right and left.






Lalapalooza 92 & 94

Probably the best line ups ever.  When Pearl Jam played, Eddie Vedder climbed the scaffolding all the way to the top, swinging around like a monkey then roared like a lion.  No harness, it was insane.  Back then Rage Against The Machine played the side stage.

The Beastie Boys stopped the show due to escalating violence in huge mosh pits.  There were two, side by side, equal size, one spinning clock wise and the other counter clock wise.  As the space between them thinned to one line of not moshing people, they stopped the show.  Said they weren’t about violence and they wanted to play for everyone. They wanted everyone to chill out and let the whole crowd enjoy the show.  The mob filled the space and they began again and then punks rushed the stage and pinned not moshers to the stage and they had to stop the show again.  People were being carried out all bloody.  They waited, exclaimed to the crowd to be non violent, said they were all about non violence.  They began the show for the 3rd time and after about 7 minutes, walked off stage.  I think they played about 30 minutes total.

2017 line up looks ok, one show in the US, Grant Park, Meh. U2, Meh.  PJ Harvey in Seattle.  Roger Waters in Tacoma. John Legend at Chateau Ste Michelle…wonder what the line up is at the gorge…  must be getting old. the only shows i’ve seen in years are the orchestra.

2016 Cedar saw lots of shows, went backstage @ Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zero’s.  Jon even took her to see Black Sabbath.



Pet Deaths.

We lost Mama cat and Ferris the rat.   Both died of natural causes due to old age.  Need to bury Ferris tonight. He’s on the porch and Mama left and didn’t come back.  We searched all over for three days and don’t think we will see her again.  We did everything to make sure she was warm and comfortable.  She and Buddy used to sleep in his kennel on the porch together with the door open.

I adopted Mama cat and her sister at a moving sale on island. My daughter remembers the day.  The family was moving off island and made sure the cats went to a forever island home.  Kept my promise.  Sister cat died in our arms three summers ago. There were 20 kids at her funeral.  We transitioned the cats slowly, I went to visit several times before I picked them up. This house is much like thier old farm house so they were quick to adjust.

Ferris was three.  We all held Ferris and noticed he seemed older somehow.  That night he had what my daughter says was a stroke.  She must have caught the behavior right away.  She moved him into her room and he passed in his sleep, sleeping beside her.  It took time  to get used to pet rats.  It was a slow process that began about 4 years ago.  It was my friend Julie that calmed me down.  She said they were great for kids.  So I immediately shut up about it.

The kids used to put rats on me for a few seconds at a time.  Then they would drop them off on me and say, you have to hold them everyday or they go crazy.  After a while I could tell all their little personalities and now its fun.  I even tie up hammocks for them to sleep in with fabric from my sewing kit.  They love that, crawl all over my hands supervising me.  Took some convincing but Julie was right, again.