Little Man wants to be Homeschooled.

Today he said, “Chautauqua Elementary Sucks and I’m never going back.”  Sigh. So be it. It’s still all about Rj’s suicide. (Rj was there for my other kids graduation from elementary school.) This backlash from my son gave me a bit of an anxiety attack today.

We recently received a somewhat cruel letter from the elementary school,  dropping my son from their books due to his attendance while he’s been in treatment for depression.

Called the school requesting curriculum, but it looks like we are on our own.

We’ve been homeschooling, but out first priority is his mental health, he’s still showing signs of depression about Rj. Asking for the hoodie Rj gave him. He still likes to wear it.

We work a lot on math, art and music and cursive. He’s reading and writing is fine.  In fact he doesn’t qualify for an IEP because he tested out and has no academic deficits.  He’s just looking forward to middle school.  We have plenty of time to prepare him academically.  He’ll be showing up prepared and ready for the chaos of the first few days.  He already has his science project for the science fair ready to go. So there.

I ate the whole thing.

Craving the vitamins?

Found them in the bottom drawer of the fridge.  Left over, uncooked. This vegetarian/ sassy stuck up vegan went on to cook it and eat it and it was totally full of fat and I ate it because we went so far as to eat the turkey, didn’t want to waste any part of it.  Suddenly feel like my Grandmother.

Now about the gizzard… still has 100% of b12 and lots of iron but no vitamin a, as compared to the liver. Interesting. Gonna eat that too, who knew?


She noticed and Said Something.

Check out counter yesterday.   Bought chocolate this and that and candy bars and she said something to me. Because in twenty years she’s never seen that behavior in me.  At first I laughed and said must be craving Seratonin.   Then I went through my meds and realized I’ve been out of Prozac a week now and didn’t notice.  Called the pharmacy this morning and confirmed that an Rx has been there waiting for me. Whoops and sending my husband down to pick that up for me.  That’s the bummer of post concussion syndrome and memory loss and managing meds.  First time this has happened. Never again.  I don’t eat that way and I certainly don’t buy that stuff for my kids.  She knows me so well….       A week of fasting is in order just to clear the sugar.

Catching My Breath.

November 1st was my quit date. Had a couple of little slips. My family totally supports this.  My daughter said no slipping. No slipping. You’ll fall right back into it.  She was correct.  The true test of time was grocery shopping and not buying cigarettes, twice. For me I guess that means I’m over it. Everything smells clearer and tastes better.

Now it’s all about breath work.  Love running. Gained ten pounds this month.  This holiday was food decadent for me.  Ate like a little piggy at the trough. All the dressings and seconds and thirds, ate until I fell asleep.  Woke up with a bowling ball feeling in my stomach and went back into the kitchen looking for another slice of banana bread. Fat pants city till I’m ready to go running again. Reaching many miles for my skinny pants. At one point I was eating chocolate pudding with fake whip cream and covered in chocolate chips.

Breath work.  Pranayama practice like an old friend I haven’t seen in a long time.  Have to be able to master it to run several miles around here. It’s all vertical switchbacks.  Too lazy to even walk them currently. Gave up on bringing my dog he’s just not into it.  Making friends with my new elliptical.  It was a gift from a friend who had to move and didn’t have the space for it.  It’s great for rainy days I must say.  Easy on my joints, great for muscles and breath work. It’s like mini training for when my feet actually pound the pavement.




My Hospital Stay

Bonded with peeps in the luni bin.  We are staying connected.  We talk on the phone and a luni even came to visit.  We mail letters. Isn’t that a lost art? Drawings, sketches.  My favorite friend just called and he’s Native-Blackfoot.  He said;  Living well, mind is full.  I like that. He adopted me as a cousin and now my whole family are in his prayers. Hope we get to visit soon. Very happy he called.